i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
