im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
