I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
