Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
