Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
