I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The power of my boobs compel you
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