it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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