She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
