Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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