Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
