Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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