she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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