around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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