Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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