Cold hands, warm shart.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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