There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
