somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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