I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
