Me too!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
