he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize