Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
