Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize