youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
