Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize