I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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