Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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