I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
