i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
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There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
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I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination