i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.