Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?