that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
