I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door