Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
soo... how was my night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
