I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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