Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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