there's paper in my vomit.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I pour the whiskey from now on
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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