are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
