4 words: hood of his car
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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