You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
