my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
