I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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