I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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