I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
