I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
