Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
