My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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