my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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