have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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