Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
