About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
