Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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