I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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