am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
