so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
