he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I can't turn off my feet"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize