how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize