I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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