Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
