I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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